Law Times

Law Times • December 3, 2018 Page 7 www.lawtimesnews.com Healing is very much possible BY DORON GOLD " W e may be through with the past, but the past is not through with us." It's a cliché that thera- pists often look to a person's past for clues as so what makes them tick in the here and now. It's also a cliché that people of- ten ref lexively view this approach as self- indulgent and needlessly Freudian. The truth is that who we are is the sum total of our life experiences and the ways in which our brains interpret those ex- periences and ascribe to them value and meaning. In that context, painful, abu- sive, neglectful or traumatic life experi- ences cannot help but have an impact on the people we become as adults, whether we are consciously aware of those funda- mental roots or not. Those events are particularly impact- ful during the most formative years, when the brain is growing and our sense of our- selves and the world is being formulated. It's as though we're a structure being built and our wiring is being put in. Painful or damaging experiences can affect that wiring in often profound and long-stand- ing ways. Generally speaking, we have little awareness of the building blocks that comprise our current selves. Life just moves on and evolves and we are who we are in any given moment. Too much introspection and analysis is viewed by many as indulgent and self- absorbed. If your life isn't as you'd like it to be, change it. Don't look for excuses or people to blame. This is especially true of our view of our parents. People are pow- erfully motivated to protect their parents from blame or responsibility for their cur- rent circumstances. They go so far as to block out entire parts of their up- bringing, describing other- wise painful or traumatic ear- ly years as idyllic or, at the very least, fine and good enough. What they miss is that it's not about blame. Most of our parents did the best they could, but some still had power- fully and deeply negative impacts on us that cannot be ignored, no matter how hard we try. In my psychotherapy practice, there may be no more prevalent or persistent subject that I have observed revealing it- self than that of current struggles whose ultimate source lies in past traumas, whether they be abuse, neglect or loss. Hearing such stories on such a consistent basis renders it difficult to ignore the im- pact that the past has on the present. Adults often find themselves strug- gling to form healthy attachments with others, especially romantic partners. They wonder why anyone would love or want them and some who actually do show interest are pushed away. Sometimes, adults reach heights of ac- complishment and professional achieve- ment and still find themselves deeply unhappy. Still others are relentlessly self- judging and carry around with them voices in their heads that spout critical and demeaning bile at them. Those peo- ple learn to turn off emotions and even dissociate from re- ality — a skill they learned as children trying to cope with events they couldn't endure or comprehend. The problem for adults is that such solutions may be in- genious coping strategies for a child with limited experience or life skills, let alone a fully developed brain, but they are quite counterproductive in adulthood. When a child suffers, the proverbial wiring is laid and a distorted narrative is formed about the nature of the world and where the child fits in it, if at all. The kicker is that there is no natu- ral point in life where the adult realizes they've been living a child's narrative and decides to formulate an adult story that is more sophisticated, thoughtful and kind to self. So, we live adult lives through a child's lens. The key to formulating a healthy adult narrative is to acknowledge the experi- ence of the child and, it should be said, to see the child as a child— innocent, inex- perienced, vulnerable, not responsible for what happens to them. That's a difficult process because, for most adult survivors of childhood trau- ma, they are that child. They carry that child's self-hatred and judgment into adulthood and often look at that child negatively. When a person can see their child self the way they see other children — com- pletely and undeniably innocent — they can start to view them with a new com- passion, which opens the door to looking at themselves with more compassion as well. As psychotherapist Nancy Napier notes: "Each time you choose to deal with your feelings in healthy ways, to remove yourself from abusive situations or to take some time to get in touch with the memo- ries, feelings, thoughts or body sensations associated with some past hurt, your in- ner strength increases. "You add to this foundation of strength every time you make the choice to reclaim your feelings, each time you acknowledge and own what happened to you and how it has affected your life." This journey is very difficult to em- bark upon alone. The self-judging person is unlikely to see a deficit in self accep- tance. This is where good psychotherapy comes in. Therapists can help the individual re- connect with the child's experience and see how it's affecting their current daily life. The pain of the past doesn't have to keep us from our best lives. Healing is very much possible. As Leonard Cohen so beautifully sang, "There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in." LT uDoron Gold is a registered social worker who is also a former practising lawyer. He works with lawyers and law students in his role as a staff clinician and presenter with the Member Assistance Program as well as with members of the general public in his private psychotherapy practice. He's available at dorongold.com. PBO issue highlights unfinished business BY CHRIS BENTLEY For Law Times P ro Bono Ontario has received the money it needs to keep three Law Help Centres open for a year. Because of this, thousands of Ontar- ians will continue to receive free civil legal help from lawyers. Congratulations go to all those who spoke out and donated money to make this happen and to the fed- eral government, which came through with a $250,000 contribution that will keep the centres open in 2019. The thousands of hours of free legal help donated every year by Ontario lawyers demonstrate how deeply and passionately lawyers care about people and their access needs. However, this news is not a solution to a deeply em- bedded problem with our justice system. The legal needs being met by the Law Help Centres are part of a much larger civil access-to-justice crisis. It is not new. Many have spoken in particular about a court process that is too complex, slow and unafford- able for most Ontarians. The proposed solution often begins with a call for more — more judges and lawyers, more money and more support. Respectfully, more is not the answer. To borrow from Einstein, if you do more of the same, you will get more of the same result. Access for civil legal needs is now back to where it started before the funding crisis began. Can we use this opportunity to build bet- ter access to justice into the civil system and, if so, what are the levers of change? What people need is less — less complexity. Com- plexity increases delay and cost. Together, they all undermine the quality of justice. Why is the system as it is? Maybe it's the understandable desire to perfect the system and deal with the exceptional case. Whatever the reason, the system is not what it needs to be. Besides, Ontarians should not have to pay even more for access to a system for which they already pay. There is enough money for a system of justice that works better for those it is supposed to serve. It's not enough for a perfect system, but it's more than enough for better. However, the resources need to be allocated differently. Why won't it change? Many reasons might be at play. For now, let's settle on saying that the reason these issues persist is due to the "momentum of inertia" — a phrase used by a former professor of mine at the Uni- versity of Toronto. But don't take my word for it. Ask. Don't just ask those who control and have built the system. Ask those who need to use it. And watch as lawyers take the clients who can afford a different approach out of the court system. What do the wealthy clients want? Always a simpler, faster and less costly alternative. Unfortunately, most people can't afford to leave and, increasingly, they can't afford to stay. Access is an issue that affects all, including the mid- dle class. The wealthy can purchase an alternative. The poor sometimes get a little help with a small part of it. The middle class is left on its own in a system it pays for but that doesn't work as it should. More money is not the answer; reform is. If the energy and determination that were un- leashed in less than a month to solve the PBO funding issue were engaged to reform the court process, signifi- cant and permanent change could be made in just a few months. The single most important access-to-justice initia- tive that could be undertaken would be to streamline the process to make it simpler. Cut out most of the pa- per/forms and the steps. Get to the decision point faster. This is what successful organizations have been doing for years. Who could lead the reform? The judges and law- yers who control most of the court process through the rules committee have the power to change it. How? Start with three simple steps: Inform, tri- age, decide. First, provide information upfront, online, available to anyone whether they have launched a case or not that fairly tells them the issues, the options and what realistically will happen (not just the process). You could add to this by using technology to build a data- base of often-asked questions, leveraging the work of PBO and many other organizations. Second, triage every case before or as it is filed so that the emergencies are dealt with quickly and only the real issues are allowed to linger. Why? The justice system is publicly funded. It is not an all-you-can-litigate buffet. It should be like a hospital. You might want to see every expert in the hospital and have multiple procedures, but you will only see those you need to see and get what you must have. Finally, get the cases that can be resolved out fast. Move the cases along. Decide. Some may enjoy the journey, but most people need to get to the destination. Justice is a right of all Canadians. It is entrusted to the profession to deliver. The system that is being de- livered to Canadians is not working in the way it needs to work. The professionals themselves are working as hard as ever. However, the system they work in is too slow, too complex and unaffordable for most. Governments can help the reform by protecting the vulnerable, standing up for all, including the middle class, and telling justice leaders there's no more until they deliver a faster, sim- pler and more affordable system. Let's take this opportunity to build the more acces- sible justice system that people need. LT uChris Bentley is managing director of the Legal Innovation Zone and Law Practice Program at Ryerson University and a former attorney general of Ontario (2007 to 2011). u SPEAKER'S CORNER COMMENT The Lawyer Therapist Doron Gold

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